I am currently witnessing how much difference falling in love at this age (read: 24 years old and above) and falling in love when we were teenagers (read: 21 years old and below). That courtship approaches are different in so many aspects.
Again, I shall highlight ‘witnessing’ cause I am not the one facing it. I am observing how my friends are going through that early courtship phase and comparing it to my experience. They have this very straightforward approach. Within less than a month (heck no, weeks) they were able to be direct and clarify what each of them want in life and from each other. The maturity is like everywhere in their erm..recently built relationship (?). They didn’t waste time and they always clarify. Means, no petty, stupid mind games, or tug of war.
Whereas in my case, to be where I am now. I had to go through 5 years of tug of war (read: we play that tug of war in term of feelings, testing each others patience) and endless mind games. Which then, after five years of friendzoning (read: both of us received the friend zoned moments from one another, basically, we tally in that lol) I am in a 2 years of a lovely, blessed,
high blood pressure relationship with my best friend. That totals up to 7 years of journey me and my best friend/le beau had to go through.
The difference when compared to mine and theirs, my friends at the age of 23 years old made it clear what they want. Me on the other hand, with le beau, only made it clear like when both of us are 22 years old. Back in high school, we kept poking each others’ feelings, egos involved and etc (oh well, you sort of get what I am saying). We only reached to that conclusion, when we realized we are tired of the mind games, and we just blurted out (5 years later) of how we just really like one another, and POOF. Here we are. Which we thought,
Me : Wouldn’t it be nice if we just be direct with one another like 5 years ago?
Le beau : We were young. We still have more things to learn. It’s the right time when we made it clear. Plus, you were playing hard to get
PFFT. Well, technically both of us were playing hard to get.
OKAY. running AWAY from the topic.
Referring to what le beau stated, “We were young, we still have more things to learn”, it’s the truth. We had to go through so many heart breaks to know and learn that love is not all mushy and sweet stuff. As with the heart breaks you learn to know yourself better. It’s when you reach the age of 23 years old and above, you realize what you want from another person and what you want for yourself too. At this point of life, you are tired of testing your feelings and really, changing partners or being in and out of relationship again, AND AGAIN, is really tiring. You just want to be steady and true. So I guess, that’s what differs between falling in love at a young age and at this later stage.
“It’s the right time when we made it clear”
Yeap, timing, also is the deal. We could always wish for it to be sooner or later. The truth is, we are not in control of that. We could be either too ripe or too young. The deal is, when the time comes, it will happen. If not, well try to learn something and just be patient I guess. For what I know, all of us experienced that young love, where the poking feelings and that ego level is exciting. But truth is, when you reach the age of, tired with all the f**k that the world is giving, you just want no game, no play and just be direct and go,
‘Okay, what do you want from me’
‘Yeah, I want you to know this is what I want from us’
Save the hassle and time. Then work out from that. I think another reason is, well everyone around us are either on their way to marriage and are married. That plays an effect to. You start to wonder what the f**k is going around in your life other than keeping fats under your tummy and everywhere else.
Friends : Wow, you are so good in giving advice la wei. So, when are YOU getting married?
Fact of the day!
Regenerate: In Doctor Who series, meant that, every Doctor that experience severe injuries (like near death or major injuries) will HAVE to regenerate (new cells, bodies, face) to heal themselves (read: in a sense they are immortal lah, but only if they have time to regenerate).
So STOP ASKING ME UNLESS YOU WISH TO SPONSOR MY WEDDING.
Keep reading peeps!
Signing out -Shaffyn