I hate providing a reason to why I am sad.
Must there be reasons to why I turn this way?
Do you think I know why my stomach is hungry, when I just ate a half hour ago? No. It is beyond my control.
Sometimes it’s not easy trying to flash a smile and trying to ‘chill lah’ or ‘don’t think too much’. Words seems easy. Advising seems easy. But going through it is horrendous enough. Yes, we don’t expect you to understand what we are going through but support is just enough.
People have this impression, that I am a strong person. That when I complain or when I am depress. They say I shouldn’t feel that way.
I hate that. I hate people telling me that I shouldn’t be a human. I am no superwoman.
I would kill to have some company from my grandparents. I miss their hugs. I miss their warm expressions. I miss their company. I miss their presence. I miss them not judging me for being a nonsense shit.
But life treats you so. What can you do?
Yesterday is the 1st of January 2015.
Time flies bloody fast wei. I am still on my long holiday. Will be working this coming monday (cue every frustrating sounds ever existed).
How did I start my new year?
Surprisingly, on New Year’s Eve, le beau met my relatives and my grandmother, we both had a bonding dinner moment with my mother. It is like a glimpse of what/how the future might look like.
I am the happiest to know that I started my new year knowing he was by my side. Both of us are scared to know what will come up next, but we are ever so grateful for our presence next to one another.
You know what is funny about the new year?
You will recall what shits you went thru the last years. Recalling the pain. The memories. And of course how and in which event you became the fool or the idiot. And end up smiling afterwards. Because well. You made it.
I turn to my right at the driver’s seat. Three years ago he was just that boy that I kept looking at from afar, now, he holds me tighter than I ever expect it to be.
Life can give you lemons.
It will take you a while to figure out how to make a lemonade.
But when it does.
It will be that lemonade you always treasure.
Nah. Shouldn’t give you guys that metaphor. It sucks haha
Happy New Year!